“Fixing” My Belly and Me?

With my second pregnancy I carried a lot different than the first. My belly was all out in front and hung a little lower. As a result, there was a lot more pressure on my once-picture-perfect belly button. You may be jealous, but I have to tell you… before babies I had, without even trying, a toned and flat belly with a deep, sexy navel. It was so deep in fact, that for more than 35 years, I never saw the bottom of it.

During that second pregnancy I noticed my belly button becoming more and more sore and protruded. I was soon diagnosed with abdominal muscle separation and a herniated navel. My doctor said it was quite common and something I could later get corrected with a minor surgery.

Since that time (more than 4 years ago) I’ve been more than just a little annoyed by my herniated navel. Not only is it ugly but, at times, it can be quite painful too. Sometimes while playing tennis or reaching for my big salad bowl on the top shelf something will pop out and get pinched. Yeeeeouch! I stuff the rubbery protrusion back in with my fingers and hold it firmly in place until the knife-stabbing pain ebbs.

Since I’m not all that fond of elective surgery, I’ve been trying to remedy the bum belly issue myself. I stuck to a strict exercise regimine for more than 2 years, including 300 crunches, 3 times a week. My stomach did get more muscular, but I can still see the 1.5” x 3” gap in the muscle wall every time I do a sit up and the painful episodes continue on a semi-monthly basis.

So, I guess it’s time to get the surgery. I always thought, if I’m going to go ahead and have a knife taken to my navel, I might as well get a tummy tuck too. The skin around my navel is terribly stretched and scarred from pregnancy. Then, maybe I could have a somewhat better looking bod in a bikini. But, (here’s the big BUT) if I do get the navel surgery, which would mean the tummy tuck too, than I’d have to be sure that I’m not having any more babies. Imagine how uncomfortable it would be to get pregnant after a tummy tuck? The skin wouldn’t stretch; it would tear. Big OUCH! And ugly, that would be terribly ugly. Don’t you think?

The question is: Am I ready to give up the possibility of having another baby? My husband wants to have another. We have two girls and he wants one last shot at the boy. But, of course HE wants to have another baby. Another baby would hardly affect his world. He won’t become big and uncomfortable for 40 weeks. He won’t have to give up alcohol and sushi, even after pregnancy, because he’s still breastfeeding. He won’t have to get up in the middle of the night to feed the baby and change a gazillion poopie diapers. He won’t have to put his career on hold (again) and revamp his whole life and family plan. He probably will come home to a much more cranky wife though.

I always thought two was a good number. “Two and through,” I’ve often said. They’re close enough in age that they can play together and be buddies for life. And, with two, us parents are never outnumbered.

Plus, I am 40 years old. My eggs aren’t getting any fresher. What if I should have a Down’s baby? After 35, women are statistically more at risk for all kinds of complications with pregnancy and the developing fetus. But, then again, one of my very best friends just had her third, perfectly healthy and adorable baby (a boy, after 2 girls. And, yes, my husband is jealous) at age 43, last year.

I’m pretty convinced that I don’t want any more children, for a lot more reasons than listed here, but it’s just so hard to permanently close the door on the possibility. Life is such a precious and beautiful thing, especially the life of a newborn. Oh crap! I can’t decide!